Looking forward to the holidays?
So when I was younger I used to look forward to the holidays because I got presents. This year, I'm just hoping Brenna gets everything she needs for the next year. That's a present to me... helping me provide for my daughter. Now, I practice attachment parenting so I don't really need all that much in the way of baby gear, but at the same time, I like to clean my house and stuff so I do need something to keep her occupied.
I spent some time in other journal writings complaining about people. Well i'm going to do it some more... but this is different. My roommate Mike is finally gone. I spent all last weekend cleaning him out of my house and out of my life. I need some smudge bundles to clear out all the icky vibes. That was a really dramatic situation. I spent Thanksgiving in the hospital in Pheonix, AZ with a Kidney infection, and when I returned home it was clear that people had been partying in my house. I laid down ground rules prior to leaving and they were all broken. I was so furious I started crying. But he's gone now, and he left without paying rent. Or cleaning the room. I didn't care I just wanted him out. Tony came over to help me clean up the room, but I'd already done most of it. Then Carl came over Sunday and helped me move all the furniture back into Brenna's room and make it look pretty and neat. This weekend I'm going to try to clean up all of Brenna and I's clothes. My house is clean, but there are clothes everywhere. Most of them just need to be hung up.
Today I'm supposed to learn how to change my oil. Carl is supposed to help me possibly but if not I'll just go down there and bat my eyes at some guy so they'll help. I know I complained about Carl being a "big dumb animal." I was wrong. He's not. He isn't the brightest crayon in the crayola box when he's drinking but other than that he's really smart. He's also very passionate about his values. My attitude has completly changed towards him. Joe is also not hanging around my house anymore. I kinda miss that, but I understand now that he's not at my house all the time he actually has a life.
*Sigh* I've also been told recently that I'm insensitive, insecure, and neurotic. I think I knew all this stuff. But lately I've been noticing myself acting like it. I'm insensitive because I'm so wrapped up in what's going on with me that I haven't really taken the time to check on my friends. I just feel like I tell everyone when something is going on, why should I have to chase them down for them to tell me their stuff? If they wanna talk then they should talk. Anyway...
Then I've been really insecure... I've always been that way... just more lately. Then neurotic. I over analyze every situation and then end up more confused then I was to begin with. I mean, I know making informed decisions is important but I just about can't sleep because I have too many things I'm rolling around in my head. I try to relax, but that doesn't help like it should. Too much crap that's going on.
I spent some time in other journal writings complaining about people. Well i'm going to do it some more... but this is different. My roommate Mike is finally gone. I spent all last weekend cleaning him out of my house and out of my life. I need some smudge bundles to clear out all the icky vibes. That was a really dramatic situation. I spent Thanksgiving in the hospital in Pheonix, AZ with a Kidney infection, and when I returned home it was clear that people had been partying in my house. I laid down ground rules prior to leaving and they were all broken. I was so furious I started crying. But he's gone now, and he left without paying rent. Or cleaning the room. I didn't care I just wanted him out. Tony came over to help me clean up the room, but I'd already done most of it. Then Carl came over Sunday and helped me move all the furniture back into Brenna's room and make it look pretty and neat. This weekend I'm going to try to clean up all of Brenna and I's clothes. My house is clean, but there are clothes everywhere. Most of them just need to be hung up.
Today I'm supposed to learn how to change my oil. Carl is supposed to help me possibly but if not I'll just go down there and bat my eyes at some guy so they'll help. I know I complained about Carl being a "big dumb animal." I was wrong. He's not. He isn't the brightest crayon in the crayola box when he's drinking but other than that he's really smart. He's also very passionate about his values. My attitude has completly changed towards him. Joe is also not hanging around my house anymore. I kinda miss that, but I understand now that he's not at my house all the time he actually has a life.
*Sigh* I've also been told recently that I'm insensitive, insecure, and neurotic. I think I knew all this stuff. But lately I've been noticing myself acting like it. I'm insensitive because I'm so wrapped up in what's going on with me that I haven't really taken the time to check on my friends. I just feel like I tell everyone when something is going on, why should I have to chase them down for them to tell me their stuff? If they wanna talk then they should talk. Anyway...
Then I've been really insecure... I've always been that way... just more lately. Then neurotic. I over analyze every situation and then end up more confused then I was to begin with. I mean, I know making informed decisions is important but I just about can't sleep because I have too many things I'm rolling around in my head. I try to relax, but that doesn't help like it should. Too much crap that's going on.
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